Devin Wenig, eBay’s president of global marketplaces, told All Things D that this is a way to keep innovating, a way to keep up with and hopefully surpass Amazon.

ebay_seller_assistant_program_van

…Those who grasp for salvation have fallen into Stage 4. Common “saviors” include a charismatic visionary leader, a bold but untested strategy, a radical transformation, a dramatic cultural revolution, a hoped-for blockbuster product, a “game-changing” acquisition, or any number of other silver-bullet solutions. Initial results from taking dramatic action may appear positive, but they do not last…”

“How the Mighty Fall and Why Some Companies Never Give In”
By Jim Collins

This latest PR release by ebaY has the appearance of little more than the typical ebaY pre-Q report fluff. Yet, again, the dutiful rubber stamp, junk-pumping pablum babblers of the tech, finance and investment world are talking this one month long stunt up as if it were the second coming.

Suggest inquiring minds quit looking at aerial photos viewed through several filters and get down in the trenches, away from the noise cancelling Sirens’ song for suckers which is being sung throughout the interwebz. Most ebaY dropoff depot consignment businesses failed long ago for good reason. Some of the ones that didn’t would seem to have a special “No Touchy” relationship with sleazebay.

Like so many other recent things regarding ebaY, it becomes difficult to respond with anything other than laughter. Nonetheless; I’ll try.

This is reminiscent of the “ebaY Now” program, where ebaY knew they have no business (or business model) whatsoever. They merely seek to interpose on other people’s deals. ‘Fix it on the fly’ if you will.

Wait a sec. How can eBay turn a profit when it’s buying products at full retail price, selling them without any markup and charging little or nothing for delivery?

Well…it can’t. The company says that it’s just trying to get the service rolling, and will figure out ways to make money later.

Another curious fact; They are only testing this in 2 cities. San Jose, California, home of ebaY headquarters, and Topeka, Kansas.

I’m not sure that data set from San Jose can be valid. In other words, will that branch, in the very center of the “Reputation Defender” universe, be gamed, skewed, rigged etc by employees, affiliates, cheerleaders, advisers, posers, pumpers, astroturfers, their friends, family or others? You get the picture.

Not sure why Topeka, Kansas was chosen. It’s not a traditional “Test Market” city from what I’ve seen.  Maybe ebaY has some friends there? I seriously doubt that just two cities is a valid test market range. Not enough, and not diverse enough samples.

Something else strikes me odd. There isn’t a single mention of how/when folks will be getting paid on the Seller Assistant FAQ page. But there are provisions for what happens if your items are damaged or lost? LoLz!

If I were considering using this or any similar service, “How and when do I get paid?” would be of prime concern.

I would be very concerned that ebaY might want to try to pay me in “ebay bucks”, credits, ‘chits’ or tokens, which can only be redeemed upon the ebaY site, as they have hinted strongly about doing in both the USA and the UK.

That is very telling. It speaks deep financial issues when a company wants to recirculate all cash within their site, even outside the laws.

I could go on and on about what a failure and a farce this seller assistant/pickup pilot program is right on the surface, and many issues which may arise from it, but instead I’ll just cut straight to the sarcasm.

Hey ebaY, the 1990’s called for you. They said “You’re devolving. Count your chromosomes.” ;p